Will and Jada are my FAVORITE couple of all time. I enjoy their timeless relationship. I appreciate the strength in their laughter, the fact that tabloids can not even mess with them and their attractive features to their rock star children. In every way these two amaze me.
Now I have heard the rumors of them being swingers and Will being Gay but I choose to ignore the bad and embrace the good. There is also a possibility that they might have an “Open Marriage” now, I am sure the magazines haven’t misquoted Will when he made the point that he will let Jada know if “He needs to have sex” with another woman. I am hoping this doesn’t happen often. It seems that that have a very satisfying and healthy relationship.
I can only wish to one day be married and in love as much as they are with one another. I actually just came across this beautiful clip of the two sitting down with Oprah speaking on their sex life. I love it!!
So often we complain about things and people we don’t like. Did you ever notice that it is not the problem but how we react to the problem? I think we are responsible for how we contribute to ourselves as well as the world around us. Is complaining necessary in order to make a difference? Why complain and get upset about things that are out of your control? If any problem is within your control then Be the Change you wish to see. Change your environment. Change your attitude. Change your perspective. Change your habits.
Be the Change You wish to see manifest itself. Complaining will just make you feel unhealthy and depressed inside!
Love: the feeling you experience when you are not feeling alone. The feeling that causes you to feel accepted, like you have your place in the world. It’s always an interesting feeling when people who are “supposed” to love you, turn on you. It makes you think of all the other people who say they love you. It makes you wonder, “Do these people really love me or would they turn their back against me too?”
To my understanding, love is not supposed to cause pain. Oftentimes we are unable to display compassion. In essence, love is probably the hardest feeling to show and prove in its appropriate manner because most people in the universe are unable to love themselves the right way. Many of us judge ourselves and have a hard time with self control and discipline. Very few people trust other people with their own emotions, secrets, or money.
Many relationships fail because of fear as well as the memories we hold onto. Everyone at some point or another has had someone do something wrong to them. It is understandable that trust is an issue for most people however, letting go of past hurts and being kind to yourself and others is the best choice for anyone. The more we practice change within ourselves, the easier it is to give others a second chance.
1. Read self-help books about appreciating yourself: Positive thinking is a wonderful way to stay healthy physically and spiritually.
2. Practice Good Manners: Saying, “Please, Thank You, May I”, giving compliments, and showing appreciation, help you feel better as a human being. It also helps you manifest positive ways of living. In turn, you will start appreciating yourself.
3. Give back to the Earth: Now I am not saying go ALL THE WAY Green, but planting flowers, trees, recycling, purchasing plants for your home can help you get in touch with your human side. Remember, we are made up of our universe and we easily get side tracked pulling us further away from resources that make us feel whole.
4. Do onto Others as you would like done onto You: It is very easy to get caught up into negativity. Being cranky and doing things for everyone else but ourselves can make us ugly people who constantly complain. In turn, we get bitter and mean towards people. NOT GOOD. We should not curse, act out negatively, or treat people poorly because we are dissatisfied with something. Sure, if you find you might not be pleased with someones behavior, you can address it calmly with respect. But please folks, treat others with compassion and love.
5. The Past NO LONGER EXISTS: Everyone deserves the right to evolve. If someone has done something in the past that you did not approve of, do not hold onto it forever. Either let go, or distance yourself from that person. Also be mindful, whatever person who held themselves untrustworthy in your past DOES NOT mean the new people you meet will do the same things. Do not make your new friends, lovers, or partners pay for the mistakes of your past experience. I notice the people who judge are the people expecting people to judge them; The people who misrepresent themselves and their monogamous relationship, usually expect and fear that their partner will behave that way. Not good, great example of loving thyself properly.
6. Meditate: You don’t have to meditate they way some Indians do but take out time to self reflect and appreciate the blessings you have. I find that when I appreciate, I gain. When I want and desire, I barely see results. Want not, but know you are taken care of by the universe and you are beautiful.
7. Forgive Yourself: We all make mistakes and become angry for any small thing. We are humans, I expect nothing less. When trying to walk your path of positivity and self control, take the time out to forgive your own mistakes and if possible ask others to forgive your mistakes from the past. This will take heavy burdens off of your shoulders and assist you with starting anew.
8. Love Yourself and Others Daily: Refresh your mind, body and spirit daily. This is daily self love I am trying to stress to you all. Everyday is a BRAND NEW DAY, a New chance to act accordingly like a loving person. Not everyday will be an exceptional one, but YOU have the control to make YOU SHINE WITH LOVE!
He carried a bag of burdens and lied them down daily
Only to lift them back up and put them in his bag in order,
making sure they were all there.
The Devil lived once.
He shouted at each passerby,
grunting that they not touch His bag for if they do,
they’ll have HELL to pay.
The Devil lived once.
He sang songs of heartache and pain,
with each note he sang well.
So catchy, others began to sing the same song.
The Devil lived once.
He was blueish red in color,
due to the distress He put Himself through,
worked so hard to destroy the lives of others.
The Devil lived once.
Under the stars that Happy God created.
Where miracles shun down on the Beautiful Earth.
Where souls were lost behaving like the Devil.
The Devil lived once.
With his heavy bag of burdens,
chucking it around, swinging it from side to side,
the thickest cloth kept it bound.
The Devil lived once.
Breaking up happy lives,
sought to demolish peace,
teaching lust instead of encouraging wives.
The Devil lived once.
With his teeth all covered in plaque.
He slept with His bag of burdens, caused chaos,
Until then, He broke His own back.
– M Lyric P
So, recently, one of my favorite comedians, the very bold (says exactly what’s on her mind) Chelsea Handler, made a reference to living the African American dream in commenting on one of the women of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” Saying,
” Apparently, this woman is a practicing attorney and she’s married to an ex-convict. It sounds to me like she’s living the African-American dream.”
I don’t believe Chelsea to be a racist. For several reasons, first and foremost she is a comedian, had been rumored to be dating 50 Cent, has a panel of inter-racial guests and staff as well. Whether it is ad-libbing or sketched, she talks about what she sees. The majority of comedians have a tendency to speak about different races, cultures or what ever is on the menu in the morning when they wake up, leading to stereotypical jokes that make it into the sketches. Why? Because its bold and comedians get paid to say things only people think about saying while sitting on their living room couches. Perhaps this is why many reality shows portray the dynamic personalities of outrageous behavior of all kinds of individuals no matter what race.
Look at Dave Chappelle, I honestly can never get enough of his outrageous sketches. He paints his face white, pretends to be white and does all of these things for fun. In real life, Dave is married to an Asian woman with white skin.
Let’s not be so harsh on Chelsea because she is hilarious. Hey, she claims to love vodka and she will make fun of any race, including hers at any given moment. Don’t get it twisted, whether Caucasian, Puerto Rican or any other ethnicity of people who audition for crazy reality shows behave outrageously for their own exploitation and exposure. It’s just the way comedy works.
Either way, the networks love it because the ratings are NICE. But do comedians have a code of ethics anyway??
Check out the clip!
Aren’t you tired of checking you twitter and facebook account every 5 minutes? Do you ever get sucked into the hype of people cyber battling with others? Did you ever get upset that you weren’t number one on your best friends top 8 on myspace? Well, I think for most of the youth, this has been the case. If you are tired and want to do something about it, follow these steps and practice discipline. It is always better to be productive and creative then it is to check your friendly social accounts every 5 – 10 minutes. Here is my story…
It was April 2005, as a student attending SUNY Purchase, I was told by a fellow classmate that I should join the facebook.
“The facebook?”, I asked.
“Yeah, I’ll send you the link to join. All the colleges are on here. It’s so cool.”, she replied.
I remember laughing to myself about the name, thinking my myspace was enough for me. Unfortunately, after my boyfriend joined, I joined, we entered into my first cyber relationship and boom the rest was history.
Today facebook, no longer “The Facebook”, represents the expression of many people, not only college students. I am friends with my mom, uncle and cousin. I get to see what they are doing and who has joined the family. For those reasons, it’s amazing. Unfortunately, the downside is the immature friends you’ve met in the past, the friends who are constantly venting negative energy, and the occasional fights with your loved ones, only to be surprised by a disrespectful status.
Things like the mini-feed can dishonor your opinions about privacy and unfortunately we all know about your on and off relationship and what happened all because of facebook.
Let’s admit it, the embarrassment of your personal life is all there for the world to see or have access to and it can ruin your day. This is why facebook, myspace, and twitter alike, should be kept to a minimum. Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into the hype. Here are a few things to try to spend less time on these social websites.
1. Remove mini feed updates: Do this by simply scrolling over your friends status on the mini feed section and clicking on the X. This will prevent frequent updates.
2. Relationship What?: No one really needs to know that you’re in a relationship with a specific person or what your anniversary is. Simply omit if you are single, divorced, or in a relationship. If you post pictures of happy times with your partner and respect your relationship, it won’t matter anyhow.
3. Don’t Vent Your Frustrations: Does this even need an explanation? Write in a journal somewhere, not on a facebook status.
4. Ignore your grand ‘ol Droid and iPhone Apps: Most of us have upgraded our cell phones and we now have a facebook, myspace, and twitter app. This makes it easily accessible to check all accounts at any given second. Remove your apps and you’ll focus more on the real world around you.
5. Eliminate your email notifications: This is another great way to help you ignore your social websites. You don’t need to have your email accounts flooded with who’s invited you to what and who posted on your wall every 3 minutes. It doesn’t matter who is following you today on twitter and what new spam myspace message you’ve just been sent. These email notifications will make you want to check your account more and more.
I have recently deactivated my facebook account for a while to stop my addiction and will follow these steps when I decide to activate it again. Isn’t it funny how we can’t even delete our account on facebook entirely? Mark Zuckerburg is a billionaire off of our addicition to social networks online. He’s one smart cookie.
Wishing you all the best with your discipline in achieving success in eliminating your addiction. Real life is always best. So delete those apps and edit your accounts. There is work to be done and people to talk to face to face.
I just adore Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats’ public display of what a healthy relationship looks like. Many times, a photo can not always tell the truth but in their case, I beg to differ. They appear to have an astonishing love and admiration for one another and I can dig it.
Let’s define a healthy relationship:
1. Love yourself and be content with yourself first – Never expect someone or a romantic relationship to keep you happy.
2. Know that you must be patient to get to know someone – Don’t rush sex.
3. Respect you and your partners differences – No two people are alike, be clear with your partner about what you want and what you are willing to give. ie. Exclusive Relationship etc.
4. Communicate – This can be hard for shy or reserved people, it can also be tough for angry people also. When communicating likes and dislikes, it is important to respect your partners feelings and accept how they feel about things. Similarly, it is important to have understanding and then drawing either a resolution or comfort with honesty. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can’t always have both. Most people argue to be “right” about something. They say. “If you loved me, you would…” and argue to hear the other say, “Okay, you’re right.” If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences. If you can’t reach any mutual agreement, that doesn’t mean either of you is wrong or bad, it only means you don’t suit each other.
5. Don’t try to control – In many situations, people can be insecure about something within themselves or they have experienced a relationship where they weren’t loved appropriately. As a result, people tend to make demands and following this they distrust if you don’t “obey” them. This is a bad sign, you can either assure them that a healthy relationship is what you want and what you need. Trust is the first thing that should happen during friendship or part ways to save yourself the heartbreak.
7. Do something nice for your partner out of love not out of greed – The things you do for your partner must always be done because you chose to do them and you wanted to do them. Do not hold your “good deeds” over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work: a person is less likely to notice and value all the contributions of their partner as much as their own.
8. Forgiveness – It is important to forgive your partner. I think this is so fulfilling as a person. Once you let go and move forward, you know true wisdom. People are forever changing, therefore you must understand that although we make mistakes, we learn and grow from them. Keep growing. Forgive each other. Just don’t take advantage of true love when you have it.
9. Be Responsible – As you get older, you take on adult responsibilities that take money management. Also, you don’t want to be a person that is not of your word. It is very imperative to have the ability to respond.
10. Review your expectations. Try to be as clear as you can about any expectations – including acceptable and unacceptable behavior and attitudes, especially attitudes towards money. Make sure you don’t expect your partner to fulfill every need in your life. One person cannot be everything to you. Everybody needs love, intimacy, affection, and affirmation, but your partner cannot alone give you all of that. You need to get some from your friends, from your family, but first and foremost, love yourself. Attempting to change someone else’s mode of processing or personality style won’t work — and will create derailments.
11. Appreciation – It is important to not take advantage of your partner and to appreciate everything you have.
12. Date – You must go out and celebrate each others love. Always court each other. Surprise each other and keep things fresh.