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To Control or not Control, That is the Question

January 8, 2009


At a young age we are taught to control ourselves. We are taught to behave a certain way, speak a certain way, eat a certain way and do things a certain way. This cultivates our beings and as the years go by and we practice these methods we were taught, in turn, we want to control other people and/or situations around us.

 I have a confession, just the other day I realized I want to be in control. “What an epiphany”, I thought to myself. I wanted to entrench the minds of my loved ones and convince them with why, thinking like me or understanding me better, can help them and our relationships. Now when I failed in my many attempts to persuade, I noticed it ate me alive inside. “How and why can’t things go my way”, I repeatedly thought to myself. I became angry, hopeless, frustrated, sad, and depressed. It was then, inside my mind and heart, I knew I do not and will never have the ability to control people or the world around me. I am only in control of myself. My actions, my behavior, my environment. Even this can be a difficult task in the end.

controlHow can we change our minds? After all these years of practicing control, how can we un-learn and teach ourselves a new perspective on life? Well, I have some suggestions, good ones.

Here are a two questions to ask yourself:

  1. Do you get frustrated, sad or depressed when things don’t go your way?
  2. Do you really believe that you can control others opinions, thoughts, feelings and the situations that you are in?

This might be a tricky question for some. Be clear, that one of our greatest powers is through communication. That yes, we can plant seeds (good thoughts, words of wisdom, reasons for why things happened, etc) However, the outcome of  people understanding us at the same level or feeling the same way, may not always be reached overnight. I am learning this and want to instill in all of you that the universe always works itself out. There is no denying that what we put out is what we get back and although it seems that life just isn’t fair, we must understand that everything is working out for the greater good. With every negative experience, there is a positive, blessings in disguise that we have no idea are going to enter our lives. It is best for us, to be patient with ourselves, embrace what life has to offer and NEVER I Mean NEVER give up or let your guard down and always choose the better option. It is a challenge to change others, we even have a hard time changing ourselves.

In the end, all you have ever done will show. All your good deeds, remain good, and all of your future possibilities are open. Open up to receive all blessings and plant as many seeds as you can. Think before you retaliate, and the answer is to not control, but to re-think and have faith that everything will eventually work itself out.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Lores permalink
    January 10, 2009 9:30 am

    This is an interesting post – I think it’s really difficult to hold your hands up and admit ‘I can’t control my surroundings’, but I agree that you get out of life what you put in – you should always choose the postive route.

    Look forward to reading your next post


  1. Letting Go…The Best Answer to All of Your Questions Concerning Conflict « Inspiration of Lyric

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