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To Sacrifice a Desire for a Necessity

February 8, 2009

Mark Spain - Night Light“The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for who we can become.~ Charles Dubois

What I mean by sacrificing a desire for a necessity is to give something up that one might believe is a valuable necessity. Anything disadventagous and/or anything that may contribute in stifiling ones character. It takes self-discipline, great understanding of your worth, and responsibility to follow your own rules in order to stick with the sacrifice you’ve made.

I have always been the affectionate humanitarian; Always helping those I have cared for, even though at times it seemed they lacked concern for themselves, or weren’t assertive in achieving what they needed to achieve. Well quite recently, I have discovered the self discipline to start taking on another habit, instead of trying to save the lives of others who were self seeking, this time, I will take great care of myself.

Many of us feel the need for security in others, one main reason why we stay in disadvantageous relationships. We like to feel apart of, a closeness with someone we believe has our best interests at heart although, in the long run the truth always comes to light and we see that may not always be the case. Indefinitely, we should always intuitively feel situations out for ourselves and choose whether or not something, not just relationships, are in our best interests. Not everything is what it seems and what we desire, in turn, may be the thing that will set us back from what we need. And what we need, realistically, will always be the best thing we have ever hoped for. Don’t substitute, make you’re sacrifice.

One Comment leave one →
  1. John Barilla permalink
    March 13, 2009 4:40 am

    Hi Meaghan – I found my way here with Riki’s help, and I must say that you display a lot heart here, and that’s like giving from a NEEDED distance. If you must be on guard, please know that for yourself, embrace it, and then relax more while dong just that – just a playful suggestion, Meaghan. Actually, and obviously, your have a talented insight that is very often moving. Thanks so much for you excellent stuff.
    Having said all that, I just wanted to share something on your piece about desire and necessity. Might i please suggest that those things are directly related – i.e. desire so often converts something wanted into a necessity [a little addiction], and necessity so often sponsors desire. Suppose that you came to the conclusion that there was really no “need”?? – that you were essentially in, and of the stream, ALL; and, at once, were the stream itself?? No need, just flow?? The stream contains all drama! No need, no sacrifice. [I will not drone on here about supposed “choice”, but will postpone that for another drone, at another time.]
    Yes, and just a note about “advantages”. Just as a coin always has a head and a tail, an advantage is always connected to a disadvantage. if you don’t personally suffer disadvantages, then someone, somewhere else is picking things up for you, like starving, suffering children across the world, and others, like those we see among us who wrestle with pain and deformity as a part of their very lives. The fact is that Everything Changes; and the direction of Change is this: A thing proceeds towards becoming the most extreme version of “itself”, at which point it turns and proceeds towards becoming its opposite. See, EVERYTHING, is bound by the great order, except when it isn’t [nothing both can and can’t be left out]. It’s forever two sides, which together make a whole – [here in the ordinary world every “whole” is incomplete standing alone.] In effect, there really is no “advantage” to be had – for every advantage you pick up, you, or your suffering surrogate, pick up a disadvantage – can we just roll, opening and closing like the Morning Glory??? [I have a poem on this entitled: “Don’t Waste A Moment” – perhaps some other time.]
    I recalled our conversation on “Love” the other night, and I was reminded of the following poem I wrote some time ago, entitled: “Veils of Love”:

    Veils of Love Poems by John Barilla CR 2/2000
    Exalted One, come down, through vales of tears and veils of love,
    and smile once upon we who are your ignorance. Tell how you traveled through this place, when love was brilliant, and love was simple, and love was all!
    I tumbled free and danced in a placent pouch – my water world –
    when love was a mother’s serenity, her rhythmic heart, and reassuring voice,
    heard through the wall of her womb.
    I came to air somewhat surprised. Gasping, hearing then only my heart-beat pounding – it seemed between my ears: when love was the touch of another’s skin
    and a flowing answer to grasping, suckling instinct.
    It was my response to touch and sound, to sight and texture, to light and emotion, to my own demanding fit, and to her compliant feast, that increasingly burdened a tiny scale: when love was nurturance and stimulation.
    I chose to shrink in fear – a growing body, surrounding itself and rounding at the shoulders. To only meekly strangle, and to strongly nourish the seed of uncertainty and the loss of real self, grounded in a sense of lack: when love was an encouragement and a validation in the hands of someone other.
    I faced, in need, threats of force, and pain of threats, and pain of force, entangled obligation, and the fall into one conformity, rebelling against another: when love was what remained after the battle for independence.
    Flowers’ beauty, eagerly sought with an abandon, then crushed by careless same, taught my heavy step to grieve, to slow and savor, even in the secret distance – there, in the wane of fear – when love was an allowance, and love was sweet acceptance
    I came to grow, beyond passions and estrangements; to see, beyond possessions of another; to hold, without conditions and engagements; to know, of respect and inner beauty: when love was an innocent embrace.
    There came a stillness in perception. An open field with no labels and no judgments, with no confinements nor distractive “understandings.” Pure beholdment! Radiant Heart in self-delight: when love became the very ground, when love was dark, and love was brilliant, and love was simply all!

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